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They are just really convinced they are right.
Well, maybe not a total disaster, that is a bit exaggerated. However, I'm going to show him your post tonight and hopefully he will agree that it's worth a try.
I'm so happy to know another doctor's wife. After a certain point "support" stops being supportive and turns into enabling - enabling of his depression, his anxiety, his reluctance to reflect deeply on who he is and what he wants out of life, and worst of all, my "support" ensures his continuation into a career that will not ultimately make him or me happy.
It seems to me like you are walking into a relationship where there is a significant disconnect from the start. That's all she thought about for 18 months, plus the months leading up to it, and winding down.