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I simply do NOT believe he and I will not be together after we die.
I also think that if marriage outside the covenant is a sin, it is not so grave as to be unforgivable.
We still went on dates when we could, but it became less and less often.
Everything we do when we are together seems to be pre-planned and must be executed just so, right down to unexpectedly turning off the lights at And I can relate to the walking on eggshells feeling when they are home.